No Atheist In Lisbon Bottoms

2009 MR 340

The river race from Kansas City to St. Charles began one and a half hours behind schedule because of rain. Seems strange to delay a race on the water because of rain! I guess it was the lightning that actually caused the delay. Once the race starts it will continue until the end despite the weather circumstance. The rainfall cooled off an August morning which always has the potential to be very hot.

Chad and I paddled our Kevlar Wenonah Escapade canoe, named MY DIANNA, out into the Kansas River and pulled in behind “Its woot” which was paddled by our good friends from the Discovery Expedition of St. Charles. It was our intent to draft on them for awhile but it was difficult for the two of us to maintain the pace of six paddlers and after a few miles they paddled out of our sight.

We had done a couple of practice runs on the Missouri and we were concerned with our ability to keep the sleek Escapade upright. It is designed for performance not necessary for a couple of occasional paddlers. To ensure the stability of the canoe we added outriggers which really made her stable and would actually allow us to stand up. As with all things there are always consequences. To gain the stability we gave up speed which became painfully obvious to us as canoes passed us continuously the first few hours

Some of the roughest water we encountered was at the confluence of the Kansas and Missouri Rivers . I don’t know if the rough water was because of the storms that morning, the two rivers coming together or all the canoes on the water. It was good to experience the rough water at the beginning because it gave us confidence in maintaining our canoes stability. However, I think we may have swamped at least once without the outriggers.

It’s pretty cool to paddle on the Missouri River with a fleet of other boats with folks lined up along the downtown Kansas City banks of the river to cheer us on, news helicopters flying overhead and cars stopped along the highway to watch us. It’s even cooler to be on the river where there is absolutely no other person around anywhere.

Most successful paddlers participating in the MR340 have a ground crew following along on land to provide food, drinks and supplies as they progress down the river. For our first two days Chad and I were supported by Wayne and his son Ethan. They made sure we had what we needed while we were on the river. Wayne is a Kansas City resident now but like us he grew up just a short distance from the Auxvasse Creek in the Kingdom of Callaway so it seems very appropriate for him and his son to support the “Sons of Auxvasse Creek” on this attempt to do what few have accomplished.

Our first checkpoint was at Lexington which is about 50 miles from the start. We landed our canoe along the very crowded bank, got out stretched our legs, ate, refilled our water jugs and cooler and raised the outriggers. The outriggers had done their job but we needed to gain some speed which means we need to keep the outriggers out of the water. The water was much calmer now and we were beginning to get a feel for each other and the canoe. It would be dark by the time we got to the next checkpoint so we set up our lights for night travel.

The next stretch of water takes us to Waverly which is about 75 miles from the starting point. We arrive after 10pm. Again its crowded we stretch our legs, get something to eat, refill our drinks and head back out into the dark. Night on the river is fantastic. With the full moon one can see much better than one would imagine. By this time I’m having blister problems on my hands. I was wearing construction gloves which offered good protection but once they got wet they stayed wet which made my hands tender. I was also beginning to feel some serious pain in my shoulders. I had anticipated shoulder problems so I got cortisone shots on both sides on Monday. I was beginning to think my shoulders were going to seize up. We arrived at our overnight camp at Miami at about 3:30 am. It was great to see our tent up thanks to Wayne and Ethan. I spread out on my air mattress and the next thing I know its 8am.

I knew I would be dealing with shoulder issues when I got up but that was not the case. I had absolutely no discomfort. It could have been the shots were kicking in but I think it had more to do with prayers from a few of my brothers in Christ who were praying for me and following along on Twitter. I didn’t have any trouble with my shoulders for the rest of the trip. It’s amazing how good one can feel after four hours of sleep.

The Miami Lions Club was cooking pancakes and sausage for breakfast so we purchased our breakfast drank down a couple of cups of coffee and headed back to the canoe. We decided to take the outriggers off and much refreshed we launched back into the current of the Missouri River . Our next stop would be Glasgow which is a significant milestone because nearly everyone that drops out of the race does so before Glasgow . Not that I had any doubts but it would be reassuring to get that behind us.

I was having some issues with an underarm rash so we phoned ahead to Wayne and Ethan and ask that they try to find some baby lotion. We arrived in Glasgow at about 4pm where we took an hour break and restocked our supplies. This would be the last time Wayne and his son would meet up with us. They were going to go ahead to Coopers Landing to set up our tent then go home. A fellow Lewis and Clark re-enactor Jeff Troupe from Nebraska would be our ground crew for the rest of the trip. Jeff was helping with “Its woot” as well and we ran him ragged taking care of both boats since they were way ahead of us. Jeff was also Chad's backup. Chad and his wife were expecting their 2nd child, first daughter, any time. In the event his wife went into labor Jeff was going to replace Chad. The little lady is a sweetheart and she waited until we were home to make her appearance.

Just a few miles below Glasgow are Lisbon Bottoms which is noted for being a treacherous stretch of water. There are T-Shirts available which note “There are no Atheist in Lisbon Bottoms”. We travel thru Lisbon Bottoms with no difficulty other than running up on a sand bar which was no real issue. Shortly after Lisbon Bottoms is Franklin Island which is at the base of the bluffs at Arrow Rock which represents the halfway mark for the trip. At about dark we were traveling with a small group of other paddlers when I noticed the canoe in front of us took an immediate left turn which seemed strange. As we approached the area our canoe did the same thing as the current from the Lamine River caught us and gave us a push sideways.
The stretch of water from Glasgow to Coopers was one of the longest of the trip. Most of it was after dark and it was thru this area that I experienced some uncanny visions. I discovered later that a lot of people experienced similar visions late at night due in part to the fatigue and the strange shadows from the moon and the trees on the river. More than once I could see a large ship (similar to the black pearl) out in my peripheral vision but when I would turn to look at it she wouldn’t be there.

We arrived at Coopers Landing at about 4am. I found our tent and went right to sleep. At Coopers one can get a shower for $2.00 so Chad thought he needed a shower before going to bed. Someone was in the shower and one was waiting so he paid the $2.00 and took his place in line. Seems someone was really dirty because they took about 45 minutes in the shower despite the knocks on the door and the proprietors asking him to cut it short. I waited till after my 4 hour nap to take my shower. We had a great bacon and egg sandwich and coffee for breakfast restocked and headed back down the river. Jeff would take down our tent and move it to our next stop at Herman.

More later.